Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Life's a Stress

Gosh. I don't even know where to start.

I've decided not to work for the company anymore, cause I'm starting to feel that I'm draining their resources without much returns to the company. I'll be leaving next month.

I've got a million things to look for and QC for Punctuation's August Production.

And I'm bloody stressed out cuz I've just lost my accomodation in Melbourne for this Saturday and 9 days after and need to look out for a new place. And this time we'll have to pay for it.

God help me!!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Staring Death in the Eye

Boots left us sometime last night.

Mum discovered this while Dad and myself were on the way work. Of course, we turned around the get back to the house.

Strange that despite my love for Boots, I hadn't felt a pang of loss then. Reaching home and finding Boots dead... I wanted to reach out and give him the usual prod that I always do to see if he's still alive, hoping that he'll wake up. But I didn't. I knew that this was the end of his days just by looking at him... his blank stare, the hanging tongue. I returned that stare.

I wanted to close his eyes. But his whole body was stiff.

Touching Death. Its funny, but there's a difference when there life in a body. The last time I touched Boots, he felt more like a stuffed animal.

No longer will he prod me for attention with his wet nose, no longer will he rub himself against my leg and foot, no longer will he make that howl "Hello", no longer will he force his way into the house, no longer will he wait for me to pat him before he eats. Thinking now, about the finality of it... brings tears to my eye, a sense of pain from grief and despair threatening to break the dam of self control and flow through and out my mouth.

All there is now is a husk. A cold cold husk, buried six feet under in the ground by now, wrapped in a warm blanket...

God, I miss him.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

I'm a communist

That's right. It's not a typo, it's not an editorial mistake, it's not a mental breakdown. I'm a full fledged communist. I was born to it. In fact, I love it. I support communism wherever it's practiced, and soon after you finish the second paragraph, you will realise that YOU ARE A COMMUNIST TOO.

Why do I openly express my social orientation? Because its true. I love to be with people, alot of people, even if I don't contribute much to the conversations. I love to hang out with friends and family, and I love to listen to them and talk with them and find out about their lives. In other words, I love to COMMUNE with people.

That's right. I was born a communist. And so are you. Tom Hanks has shown us that we're communist down to the very core. His conversations with Wilson during his 4 year sabbatical on a unchartered island is evidence of this. Men and women are so naturally predisposed to commune with one another, that even in the absence of human presence, we may still commune, albiet with ourselves.

Let me cite an article to illustrate the importance of being a communist:

In 1962 a professor of psychology at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), Edgar Schein, suggested that physical, psychological, and chemical techniques could be used on prisoners to deliberately alter behavior and attitude. Schein was a world renowned expert on psychological coercion, having done extensive studies of torture and brainwashing techniques used on American prisoners of war, during the Korean War, by North Koreans and the Chinese. Schein also proposed isolation, sensory deprivation, to destroy socialization among prisoners as well as to sever the links prisoners had to the outside world. Because humans validate their existence, their personality, through contact with others, isolation has a significant impact on the human psyche. This form of psychological disorientation, the removal of others for validation of self, came to be known as the “Muttnik Principle” (so named by psychologist Nathaniel Braden) and was also called the “Psychology of Invisibility.”
-Atwood, F.J. (n.d.), Control Unit Prisons (SHU) (Online),
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Parliament/2398/shucontrolunits.html

While this is in reference to prison practice, and I recommend you read the rest of the article in the above provided website, it shows that being a communist is essential to our survival.

In case you're still thinking, "Holy crap, he's a communist and he's preaching it!! Lynch him!!" I'll clarify you by saying that I'm not a supporter of the version Communism endorsed by Karl Marx, defined below:

  • A scheme of equalizing the social conditions of life; specifically, a scheme which contemplates the abolition of inequalities in the possession of property, as by distributing all wealth equally to all, or by holding all wealth in common for the equal use and advantage of all.
  • A system of government in which the state plans and controls the economy and a single, often authoritarian party holds power, claiming to make progress toward a higher social order in which all goods are equally shared by the people.
  • The Marxist-Leninist version of Communist doctrine that advocates the overthrow of capitalism by the revolution of the proletariat.

So, are you a communist?

Monday, June 07, 2004

Singapore Sale

Made a trip down to Singapore with Dad and Lai Yee last weekend, and I must say, though I was bored stiff on the first day, I got pretty excited on the second day. So excited that my wardrobe has expanded by 4 t-shirts, 2 shirts and a pair of leather shoes. And all for a quarter of their original price. Maybe not the shoes though...

I must say that Lai Yee thoroughly enjoyed her trip down to Singapore too. I think that because she didn't get to buy stuff on the first day (the source of my boredom on the first day because I had to lead AND follow her around) that her excitement on the second day was a little uncontained, hence the 3 pairs of shoes, and 2 handbags she bought, both (the handbags) which I very much approve of. I really can't stand those hand-tankers that she has. If her bag were named after an astro-phenomenon, it would be called the black hole. With capital letters...

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Time Trickling Through My Fingers

Lordy, have a day planned out and watch it explode in your face and blow all your other contingency plans away.

Went out today during lunch hour to get some Australian visa's done in One Utama to prepare for my trip to Australia, but with no cash on hand for the processing fee. So, naturally I would head down to the ATM machines to get extra cash, and wouldn't you know it, I didn't have enough cash to manke the minimum RM50 witdrawal! I've never heard of such nonsense.

So there I was slowly starving away, cause I couldn't afford to waste the RM 1.80 I had to buy food... I still had to get out of 1U, and 80 cents doesn't buy anything appetising. Thats okay, I'll eat roti kosong when I get back to the office and have already emptied the car's coin box.

So I thought, maybe I'd better open that Maybank account that I've always wanted, since I had my paycheck with me. So I head down to DU's Maybank, and get this... They wouldn't let me open an account simply because I didn't reside geographically close to the branch. And I paid that 60 cent parking for no reason at all.

So to finish my sojourn out of the office, when I got back to eat the roti kosong, the shop tells me that they've stopped making roti kosong for the day!! Can today get any better than that? What a bloody waste of time.

Anyhow, other than that, I am felling anxious once again about going to Script writing class.